I don’t really like to do posts on subjects that can often be emotive, but I really felt like I wanted to post this today.

Gender stereotyping. I hate it and the way certain things are marketed and men/women, boys/girls, based on colours or even patterns.

I hate the fact that we allow colours to determine what is acceptable to dress our children in, and even down to the toys they play with.

Surely all colours are equal? Just another shade on the colour wheel. Maybe it’s just me but I find it ridiculous that we allow ourselves to be dictated to like that.

My son wears pink. Infact, he wears all the colours of the rainbow because shock horror, a colour is just that, a colour. Pink will not make a boy girly and vice versa. To even suggest such a thing is laughable.

I understand if people don’t like certain colours, and so do not dress their children in that colour. I’m the same (personally I am not a fan of pastels) But to avoid a certain colour because it is branded specifically for only a boy or a girl, I just don’t understand this.

Big companies have a huge part to play in this too. With the way they only make kids clothes in certain colours for the two genders and also how toys are marketed.

We went to Toys ‘R Us recently, and everything is seperated into boys and girls toys. Really? What’s the difference? Are girls only supposed to pay with pink glittery dolls, and boys to play with dinosaurs and trucks? Don’t get me wrong, if that’s what your child likes playing with, then great. But what ever happened to children being able to just choose ‘toys’. Toys they like. All too many times I have heard parents say to their children ‘oh no, you can’t have that it’s for boys/girls’. I even heard a lady in a clothes shop tell a young boy that he wasn’t allowed pink socks because ‘boys don’t wear pink’. View Post

Today the small boy and I attended our very first nappicino (for those that have no idea what that is, it’s a meet for cloth nappies!).

I was extremely nervous and prior to leaving I almost talked myself out of going. But I forced myself out the front door. Anxiety wasn’t going to win today.

So, in true style of Friday 13th bad luck, I got soaked walking to the bus stop and my skirt was dragging along the floor, soaking up every ounce of that rain. Then my bus passed me. I may have stamped my feet like a toddler. It was early by 5 minutes. Brilliant. But then a stroke of luck, another bus came along as I was trudging along and pulled over to let me on (nice man!)

We arrived in town and as I was walking down, I was getting really nervous again. I just kept thinking about the toddler group we attended this week and how awful it was. The women were so cliquey and made me feel very out of place. I won’t lie, I came close to turning around and heading to the bus stop. But I thought about it for a second – these ladies were cloth bum mums. They were my sort of people.

I’m glad I didn’t turn around and head home. The ladies were absolutely lovely. Conversation just flowed and the kids seemed to enjoy themselves (Well, I know Jacob did. He loves the ladies!)

As I am sure you know, I am an enthusiastic baby wearer. And today one of the ladies wanted some help with a back carry. I procrastinated about this all of last night. Wrapping my baby is one thing, but tutoring someone else infront of others is another. I spoke at great lengths last night with my consultant friend, Samantha from Geeky Sweetheart, and she gave me some good advice.

My darling child decided to pass out around the time I was asked to demo (cheers, Jacob!) but luckily one of the other mamas let me borrow her little girl (Thanks, Rachel – she is a little star). Demo, done. And I was far less nervous than I thought I would be. With that, the mama gave it a whirl and it was spot on (Haydee, you’re a pro!) Her little girl looked so happy in the wrap and I cannot tell you how proud I felt. You see, I love baby wearing. Seeing parents and their children being carried. It’s such a special thing , so to spread some baby wearing love, it felt really good.

Today I left feeling confident. Confident in my abilities to help others wrap their babies and confident in myself as a person. I haven’t felt like that in such a long time, not since before I lost my job. I’ve remembered how much I enjoy helping people and the satisfaction that goes with it. I’m getting my life back. Anxiety, screw you. Your days of having a hold over me are numbered.

First step, my slingmeet next week. Second step, baby wearing peer supporter course. Next, the world (okay, I jest on the last one 😉 )

– Thank you for letting me use this photo, Haydee –

haydee

These days I find that I don’t have much good to say about online retailers as most are lacking in good customer service.

But that’s where Feminine Wear is different.

I only stumbled across Feminine Wear last year after a friend told me about the site. Before then I’d been ordering directly from makers as I wasn’t aware there was such a large stockist here in the UK.

Feminine Wear stocks a large range of cloth pads, natural tampons and menstrual cups. There’s alot to choose from but not so much that the choice is overwhelming and you don’t know where to begin. I find that the range of products is well-balanced and the blurb on each is very informative so that you can easily pick something that caters to you. But if you do get a bit stuck, Teresa, the lady behind it all, is always on hand to give some excellent 1:1 advice. View Post

Today, someone I considered a best friend, decided to do a very mean thing and delete me from Facebook, set up a new account and not add me. Now I know some might roll their eyes over the whole ‘but they unfriended me’ thing. And before now I might be doing it myself. But this was a best friend. Someone that I’ve bent over backwards for, and someone that I consider an Auntie to my Son.

I won’t lie, it has really upset me. Alot. I cried quite a bit and then I posted in one of my groups on Facebook about it, because I just needed to let off some steam.

Sometimes I wish I were better with words, so that I could explain to you how much this group of friends mean to me. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. I’ve been extremely lucky to meet a few and I really hope I get the chance to meet them all, one day.

You see, we’re a like minded bunch. Perhaps a little crazy. But despite having not met them all, they are some of the best bunch of people I could ever hope for in my life. They’re always full of wisdom, great with advice and they always cheer me up. Not too long ago some clubbed together and bought me a very special dress from TPF Faerie Wear. They’ve been there for me through difficult times and supported me to no end, especially in the early days of becoming a Mum. I think I’d have hit rock bottom without them.

I guess what I am trying to say is, you don’t need to have met someone in real life for them to be a good friend. Friendship isn’t measured by how often you see them or how many favours you’ve done. To me a friend is someone who is there regardless, doesn’t expect anything in return and if you don’t talk for a while, you can pick up where you left off.

I love you all <3

Whilst working out tonight, I found myself thinking about life pre-Jacob and everything I’ve been through since his birth. There have been times where I’ve felt like I am weak. Times where days blur into one and I’ve felt utterly defeated. But despite that, I’ve still trundled on. I went through a pregnancy which resulted in me being non mobile at the end, and a very traumatic birth, which, later left me very poorly and back in hospital after a ruptured episiotomy. That’s quite an ordeal for anyone and yet I got through it.

In today’s society, women are often made to feel like the lesser sex. Weak in comparison to our male counterparts. When really this couldn’t be further from the truth.

When I first started out with getting fit, I looked around for some fairly inexpensive handweights. I was quite shocked when I found that most of the womens range was all in airy fairy pink. Yeah, because the colour of the weights made such a difference to the actual product. Not only that, but I found some places were more expensive for the same item just because they were in a ‘feminine’ (I use that term loosely) colour.

And then, as I got more and more into fitness, and right into powerlifting, I found alot of people often saying I shouldn’t be lifting heavy weights. But should stick to low weights with higher reps. What utter twoddle.

Ladies, there is nothing you can’t do. We are strong. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or try to put you down. You don’t need a man to validate you or ‘look after you’. Certain colours do not define you as a woman. And you can lift heavy weights if you want to. We carry children and birth them into the world. We’re often the glue behind the scenes holding everything together. Don’t ever sell yourself short.

Tonight I felt that sense of strength coming back to me. Working out really does wonders for the mind, and body. 4 days into my fresh start and I can feel my body regaining it’s strength (Thank you muscle memory!) and it’s left such a positive effect on my mood.

If you’re sat there feeling like a bag of crap then get up and do something about it. Be the strong woman you are and show the world!

P.S – I may need a human sized spatula to remove myself from bed tomorrow morning, ooof!